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Archive for November, 2012

Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is key to our happiness and enjoyment of life, as well as helping us to be able to live in the present. When our thoughts are positive we bring positivity to other aspects of our lives including positive feelings, positive body language and we are also able to bring positivity to others, as well as increasing our own optimism. The more positive we are, the more positivity we bring to ourselves through the law of attraction, which we will discuss in another article.

Negative thoughts on the other hand can be quiet destructive. Not only do they drain your energy and keep you from enjoying the present moments they can also snowball into negative emotions and fear, the more you give into them the stronger they become. Once the negative thought patterns have started it is hard to stop them and it can be difficult to shift your focus to positive thoughts.

When we have negative thoughts about certain situations the whole situation can escalate and before you know it, your whole day, week, month and year has become negative.

For example, you are sitting alone in the dark at home. You are down, depressed and thinking negative thoughts. The phone rings and it’s a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. You become alert, your mood and feelings change and becomes more positive, you have a nice conversation. Then, after you’ve hung up, you get blue again and fall back into a depressed mood. Why?

Because we have let negative thoughts and emotions come back in. We control our thoughts and emotions, we can decide to stay up or down. We can go back and sit in the dark and feel glum or we can decide to find something positive to do to keep our mood positive.

As we begin to change our thoughts to positive thoughts we start to feel better. If we take positive action to change the way we think and feel , we will feel better. The focus should be on being happy now – not when you have a promotion, new job, etc. etc. Happiness is a result of a decision to be happy.

Every thought we have is sent out into the universe, whether that thought is positive or negative, but whatever we send out is what the universe sends back to us. For Example, if you think a lot about debt, how much debt you have, guess what, the universe sends us more debt. If on the other hand we spend a lot of time thinking about the things we are grateful for, the universe sends us more things to be grateful for. Every emotion and feeling we have is created by our thoughts, so as you can see positive thought is paramount to our happiness.

Our past thoughts and emotions are exactly that, they are the past and are not in our present. Today is a new day, a better day, and worrying about the past just dooms us in the present. It’s how you process it now that makes a difference. Take a good look at the negative thoughts that appear every day, process them, forgive them and let go of them!

Here are some practical ideas to help you shift your thought patterns. By practising some of these things on a daily basis you can turn negative thoughts and emotions around.

Yoga and exercise.
Exercise is a distraction that can get you away from the cycle of negative thoughts that among other things feed anxiety and depression, it also helps relieve stress. It also releases ‘feel good’ chemicals in the brain (endorphins), which will improve your mood and as a result you will feel more energised.
Yoga is a particularly good exercise. It seeks to promote individual health and well-being through physical and mental exercise and deep relaxation.
Smiling / laughter.
Laughter really helps to change your mood and relieve stress. Put on your favourite funny movie, watch a comedian who will make you laugh or spend some time with friends. It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown!
Surround yourself with positive people.
When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to and spend time with people who can put things into perspective( those who won’t feed your negative thinking). In other words those who will not allow you to dwell in self-pity.
Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.
Instead of looking at all the negatives in your life, find a positive aspect in every situation and focus on that. Instead of dwelling on things you have lost or don’t have, be grateful for the things that you do have and in turn focus on those thoughts.
Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.
You have choices and you can choose to be happy. Take responsibility for your thoughts, your life and your decisions. Take action and make the changes you need, no one else can do it for you!
Help someone.
Take the focus away from yourself and do something nice for another person. It will take you mind off of your problems and you will feel a sense of achievement at doing something worthwhile
Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.
We all make mistakes but it is what we learn from them that is important. If we dwell on and analyse these mistakes over and over again then we are not learning as this analysis keeps us in the past. Look at the mistakes, forgive them and move on.

Singing / Music.
When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief. It doesn’t matter what we sing, or if we know all the words, just sing! Music can also change our moods drastically, by playing depressing music it will keep us in a depressed mood, however if you change the music to something more upbeat it is very hard to stay miserable. Dancing can also help immensely, for example when doing the housework put on some upbeat music, sing, dance and let your emotions out, the housework then is also not a chore and you feel much better, more energised and more focused.

Gratitude

List five things that you are grateful for right now.Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have, it also helps the universe to bring us more things to be grateful for. It also turns our thoughts to positive thoughts and stops us dwelling on what we don’t have.

Read positive quotes / Affirmations.
Affirmations are a very powerful tool. They are positive statements, which when repeated, program the subconscious mind to create changes and improvement in your life.
They trigger the subconscious mind into positive action. In order to ensure the effectiveness of the affirmations, they have to be repeated with attention, conviction, feeling, interest and desire.
Here are a couple of sample affirmations, ideally you should make your own using words that resonate with you.
“I am happy, confident and have everything that I need”
“I am a money magnet”
“I am free to be who I want to be”

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Soul Mates and Twin Flames

We all belong to soul families, and when we meet another person from that family we have an instant knowing of that person, we can finish each others sentences and instinctively know how the other person is feeling. Our soul families are very large and not everyone in our soul family is our soul mate in a romantic way, but can be our soul mates in other ways.

Twin Flames

A twin flame is the other part of us, before incarnation the soul splits into two, a feminine and a masculine. They are often mirror images or reflections of each other, which show us everything about ourselves that we are not loving or accepting. They often don’t feel good enough for the other person and don’t see what the other person sees in them and are afraid to get close as the twin will see the things they are trying to deny, hide or things that need healing. They also find the things that are illuminated through the connection too much to handle so they reject the other twin through fear.

Soul mates

Soul mates are souls we have met and have lived with throughout many life times. They could have been our mothers, fathers, siblings, lovers, family or friends. They could even have been our enemies or tormentors too. Before we re-incarnate we make contracts with these souls to learn and grow in this lifetime. We will have lessons to learn whether it is unconditional love, forgiveness, strength, boundary setting etc. Some of these connections can come in and can be very painful experiences, this will be the soul contract agreed on before re-incarnation. It is how you act in the situation and deal with it that will change the contract between you and put an end to the contract. We all have free will and if we don’t learn from this experience in this lifetime another contract will be made for the next lifetimes until the lesson is learned.

Why do Soul mates and twin flames often run from the connection?
When soul mates and twin flames meet the connection can be so strong that fear can take over, fear of getting hurt again, fear of commitment, the list goes on. This can cause many problems including conflicts, running away, hot/cold behaviour, confusion, feelings of craziness, stepping forwards – then stepping backwards, etc.

But why does this happen when there is so much love? As this is a soul connection and our souls are made of pure love, when we reconnect you would think it would be easy, but no.

The reasons why many twin flames and soul mates run from the connection is the ego and all the preconceptions we have about love and relationships and this connection does not fit with the ideas we have about romantic love and relationships. The connection is built on unconditional love and no matter how much we try to squeeze this unconditional love in to a box or category we understand, it isn’t going to fit. So we let fear and ego take over and in turn we run from the connection.

It can take time for twin flames and soul mates to trust in the love they have for each other as it came about so quickly and so intensely, that it often goes past logic, which we are taught to trust rather than intuition and emotion. As they run from each other they begin to lose themselves, become numb, lost, depressed and close their hearts. But on the surface they try to make out that everything is fine and hide their emotions and own inner hurt. At this point they can start to feel so alone and are pushed deeper into themselves and into their own, sometimes, painful emotions. Sometimes they need to feel the deepest depths of despair before they can accept this love is for real and that it can bring them true happiness, love and freedom. This road is often rocky for a reason, it will help them to trust in themselves and their own emotions and to come back to self-love allowing them to re-unite with their soul mate or twin flame.

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Forgiveness

Most of us have been hurt or wronged by people we love or care about.  Maybe you have been criticised by parents, cheated on by a spouse or, constantly told you are stupid by the people around you. Whether they hurt us by actions or words the effects can cause us to feel bitter and resentful.  It is when we hold on to these feelings that we start to cause ourselves problems and this can leave us with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or wanting revenge.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a conscious decision to let go of resentment, bitterness, anger and thoughts of revenge.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you move forwards with your life releasing resentment and pain.

The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness will help to alleviate its grip on you and help you focus on other more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can also help you to understand and offer feelings of empathy and compassion for the person who hurt you. Forgiveness also stops you looking back at past events and allows you to focus on the Present.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of hurt, anger, pain and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness, understanding and peace.

Forgiveness can also lead to:

Healthier, happier relationships.

Less anxiety, stress and hostility.

Lower blood pressure.

Fewer symptoms of depression and sadness.

Lower risk of alcohol and substance dependency.

The ability to live in the present and stop focusing on the past.

What are the effects of carrying this hurt and pain?

When we are unable to forgive the person who wronged us we will repeatedly bring the same scenario’s into our lives, relationships and experiences. If you become so wrapped up in the wrong you will never enjoy the present or the future. This can often lead to depression and often alcohol dependency which will numb the constant pain. The pain you are carrying can also stop you feeling that your life has purpose or that you are of value and loved by others.

When we carry around anger, frustration, un-forgiveness and pain our energy levels are of a low vibration. When we live on a low vibration we attract people on a low vibration, thus bringing forwards the same kind of relationships we have previously experienced, so nothing will change. As we forgive and change we will higher our vibration and attract people on a higher vibration, changing our experiences and our relationships.

How to forgive?

By forgiving you are committing to change, letting go of negativity, releasing fear and living in the present.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Look at the situation honestly and how it is affecting your everyday life, health and well-being. Do you want this person to still be in control of your life or are you going to take back control and stop playing the victim?

How will forgiving this person change your everyday life? Will it allow you to make the changes you need too to start enjoying you life?

When you’re ready, actively choose to forgive this person who’s hurt or wronged you so that you can move forwards with your life.

Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and take back control.

As you let go of hurt and pain you will no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt in the past. You will be living in the present and planning your future. You might even find compassion and understanding for others.

What if the person I’m forgiving doesn’t change?

Getting another person to change his or her actions, behaviour or words isn’t the point of forgiveness, we all have fee will. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life, by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to have in your life.

Forgiveness is about you and moving your life forwards, not the person who wronged you.

If you are constantly looking at the past, how can you enjoy your present and build your future???

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